Could I have trauma and not even realize it? What even is trauma? How would I know if I have it?
Many people have trauma and do not realize it. To break it down to its simplest terms, a traumatic memory is a “stuck” memory. All day every day, we are taking in new information. The new information integrates with information we already possess. The difference between standard information and traumatic material is that traumatic material does not integrate. It’s stuck. We know the material is stuck because it comes up for us when we don’t want it to. Perhaps we have intrusive thoughts. Maybe we have obsessive thoughts. These thoughts, though, are thoughts that we don’t want and are, in fact, painful.
Because a traumatic memory is a “stuck” memory, trauma varies from person to person. Two people can experience the same event, and one may be traumatized by it while the other is not. There are many factors involved as to why this may happen. Ultimately, though, the one who was not traumatized was able to successfully metabolize the event and genuinely move on.
For most people, when we experience something truly terrible, we just want to put it behind us as quickly as possible. Maybe we find ourselves “shoving it down”. We want to move forward immediately and never give the traumatic memory another thought.
Unfortunately, when we take this approach, we don’t leave the traumatic material behind at all. As a matter of fact, when we do this, we just end up making the trauma the center of our lives. Because the trauma has not been metabolized, it comes out all the time. When we experience an overreaction to a situation, we know that we are experiencing a trauma response. The reaction we have is not about the specific situation, rather, it is tied to a negative belief that we developed as a result of our previous traumatic experience.
That’s the bad news. The good news is that traumatic material can be healed. Even after many, many years of living with it, people are able to get healing. This is not to say that it is a guarantee or will be easy or painless, but it is most definitely possible. Everyone is different, as are their specific experiences. So, the healing journey looks different for everyone. We all have our own path.
One path that has been tried and true for many, is seeking the help of a professional. It is a good place to start when embarking on a healing journey. It is brave to take that first step to call a professional. But, if you find a therapist that is a good fit for you, making that call will be well worth it.